Sometimes it’s easier to blend in with the crowd than to stand out as your authentic self.
You think?
Not for me.
I understand that being different often seems like a bold move, one that requires courage.
But what if being different is natural to you?
I’m thrilled that the internet and social media, among other platforms, are making it easier to virtually cross borders and opening up the world to make wider connections.
I mean actual borders from countries and cultures.
It’s physical
I come from The Netherlands, a country where assertiveness rules the day.
Where saying what you mean preferably so that many people can hear it is a normality.
But I’ve lived for 25 years in Belgium which operates just the opposite.
Be quiet, never rock the boat, be decent, and try not to draw attention.
Sometimes it’s necessary to blend in to get things done in life.
I guess you’re only hurting yourself when you kick against everything and everybody.
But there’s a downside to that.
Before you know it, blending for too long or too regular might get you sucked in like an undercover agent whose lines start to blur.
So being yourself, wherever you are, needs you to be skilled in communication.
It’s not just about being unapologetically yourself.
It requires communication skills to navigate yourself through inevitable situations.
I believe there’s also severe danger in blending in to make things flow ‘easier’.
It can damage you more than you realize.
It’s a red flag you’re draping around you.
You’re heading for an internal crash because you start to disregard yourself and your values slowly but surely.
Both sides of the coin
On the other hand, voices on the internet encourage you — almost pressure you- to be different, to stand out, to be someone you’re not, to stand out in a crowd.
It’s all over social media.
But that’s not always where it’s at either.
The real challenge lies in being unapologetically yourself wherever you are.
It’s about allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to be seen for who you truly are, rather than conforming to what others may want you to be.
So it’s social media and society both pushing you to fit into this mold of what they think is acceptable.
But being yourself means breaking free from that mold and just being who you are.
And that takes guts and practice.
How to do that
When you’re daring to be yourself continuously, you’re choosing authenticity over conformity.
You’re saying, “This is me, take it or leave it.”
Mind you, there are ways to do that.
It’s about learning to communicate in a way that you can be who you are without damaging your chances or the ones of your loved ones.
Being the same, being authentically you requires a level of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and communication skills that not everyone has.
And then there is of course just behaving according to who you are naturally.
No deep digging and no overthinking.
When you see someone else being authentically themselves, flaws and all, doesn’t it give you the courage to do the same?
For me, I would love to know more of those people in my life.
That’s why I love to read articles here on Substack from certain writers.
I can relate and learn from them.
The most challenging thing to do is to be who you are and grow more into whatever you want to add to you being you.
It’s not about stepping out of comfort zones or knitting safety blankets.
It’s about getting to know yourself and learning to communicate in a way that it’s possible to be and to remain yourself.
No excuses. No chaos. Just calm clarity and a solid next step.
Get the free No Excuse Clarity Worksheet everyone’s talking about.